My Top 5!

The #5.  The number of Super Bowl Championships that my Dallas Cowboys have.  Gary Chapman talks about and has written extensively about the 5 Love Languages.  The number 5 is mentioned 318 times in Scripture.  Who knows - I may have just helped you out in your next game of Trivia Crack!

I recently reread a blog by Carey Nieuwhof called "Why Your Kids Need Five Other Adults in Your Lives."  In this blog, Carey says . . .

"When your kids, need to talk, who do they talk to?  I mean beyond their friends and beyond you as a parent?  Friends are limited help; sometimes the last thing a 6-year-old needs is advice from another 16-year old.  And sometimes the last erson they want to talk to is a parent.  I'm sure there are parents who say, "my kid will talk to me." But let me ask you something, did you tell your parents everything?"

You can read the entire blog at http://theparentcue.org/why-your-kids-need-five-other-adults-in-their-lives.

I don't know about you but there are sometimes when my kids just seem to be tired of my voice.  I'm thankful that there are some adults in my kid's life that have similar values that I have.  Adults that I feel comfortable with my kids going to to discuss difficult questions with.

How can you help to develop these relationships?  I would suggest the following ideas to get you started.

1. Help them to connect in Small Group environments at church.  Does your church offer Small Group opportunities for your students?  If so, wow!  What a great opportunity.  Get them involved.
2. Cultivate the relationship with your Children's or Youth Pastor.  Sometimes this happens naturally but at other times you may need to actively develop this.  Invite your Children's or Youth Pastor over for lunch or invite them to one of your student's sports games.
3. Make your extended family a priority.  Does your student have an aunt, uncle, or grandparent who serves the Lord who also has a great relationship with your student.  Cultivate that relationship,

You also will want to involve your child in this process.  Your top 5 may not be their top 5.  Open up the lines of communication and talk about the top 5.

Who is your Top 5?

Disconnect to Reconnect

I really do love the technology age we live in.  It wasn't too long ago that I had to wait for the afternoon newspaper to be delivered so I could check the Major league Baseball box scores.  I remember when CNN news first became available and they had sports updates every 30 minutes. It was amazing.

We've come a long way, haven't we? Today's information is just a click away.

But sometimes we can be so connected to our smart phone and to social media that we neglect to connect to the people around us.

From time to time my family has a no media night. I am making a fresh commitment to do this every week.  What does this look like?  It's an evening without smart phones, without computers, without TV.  It's an evening to enjoy dinner together as a family, to play an old board game, to take a family walk and most importantly to disconnect to reconnect.  It ends up being like a 3 hour time slot.

Maybe a whole evening seems impossible for you.  You can always start with just an hour of family time, or making dinner time a no media zone.

Crag Jutila, who is a great author, blogger, and leader in family ministry suggests the following digital guidelines to protect your children online:

1. Keep computers, tablets and game consoles in an open space.
2. Set appropriate limits for daily screen time.
3. Children must not sign up for anything unless they get permission.
4. Charge mobile devices in an open location overnight.
5. When family time is on, all media is off.
6. Randomly check your child's texts.

Here are two great books that address some of the digital media challenges that we face.

• Craig Juitla, "Faith and the Modern Family"
• Brian Housman, "Tech Savvy Parenting"

A Little White Lie

As a child I struggled with being honest with my parents.  I would do something that I wasn't proud of and then to cover up I would lie about it.  I can't imagine ever lying about something I was proud of.  It's always about covering something up.

You may have heard this saying, "The cover up is worse than the lie."

In the 5th chapter of Acts there is a great story about honesty in the book of Acts.  You may be familiar with the actions of Annanias and Saphira.  In verse 3 Peter says, " . . . you have lied to the Holy Spirit . . ."  Both Annanias and Saphira fell down and died.

God probably won't swallow me up or you up if you are dishonest.  Well hopefully not.  But he does want us to be truthful in whatever we say or do.

Why is being honest important?  How does it benefit me?  What about a little white lie?

Well, first of all, God is honest.  Since the beginning, God has been in the business of making and keeping promises.  If honesty is important to God, it should be important to us.

Second, honesty builds trust in relationships.  If you want a healthy relationship with your spouse, co-worker, friend, or child . . . be honest.  If you are dishonest even in those little white lies then you will more likely have unhealthy relationships.

Third, you are an example to your kids.  If it's okay for you to tell a little white lie, then you are telling your kids that's its okay for them to do the same.

Often it is easier and tempting to just tell that little white lie to cover up a mistake you have made or to cover up that decision that you are not proud of.  But in the long run that little white lie can do a lot of damage to those relationships that you most treasure.

Let's keep Psalm 119:29 in mind - "Keep me from cheating and telling lies.  Be kind and teach me your law."